I hate all girls vehemently.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
