I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
