How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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