i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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