dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
