3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
