she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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