I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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