my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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