Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
