Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
