Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
