You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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