Sorry, I don't speak sober.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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