Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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