Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
