so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
