Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
