so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
