just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
