We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
