i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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