You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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