no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize