@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
