he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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