Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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