And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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