No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Did I show you my penis last night?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
