who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
