Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
