He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
