ya dads aren't the best wingmen
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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