I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
