I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
