okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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