oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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