I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
