New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
