He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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