I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
