I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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