3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
