Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
