now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
