In the future we'll all be gay
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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