I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was like eating out sand paper
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
