It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
