I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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