"it" just moved
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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