I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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