I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
