So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
