WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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