ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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