I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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