I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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