The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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